Ditengah-tengah pandemik, aku ulang tahun yang ke 50. WHAT??? 50 tahun??? Agak panik awalnya karena mikir, banyak yang belom pernah dikerjain, misalnya hiking di Tibet dan Bhutan, punya badan kurus kayak jaman kuliah, jalan sama anak-anak keliling Indonesia, punya tiny house, nangkep Big Foot, kemampuan makan karbo sebanyaknya tanpa berat badan naik, belajar bahasa Korea (biar nggak usah baca subtitle kalo nonton drama Korea).
“I don't feel like a 50 year old, I feel like an experienced 35 year old.”
I don't feel like 50, I feel like an experienced 35. Pengalaman hidup macam-macam, ada yang menyakitkan dan banyak yang menyenangkan. Semua pengalaman ini membentuk diri jadi seperti sekarang. Banyak yang dipelajari dan berusaha dilupakan. I tried to correct my mistakes and overcome my challenges quietly and there are always ways and helps I got along the way. I consider myself as lucky as one can be. My kids grew up happy, healthy, and they know that I'm crazy about them. I told them that they would always be my babies no matter how tall and handsome they would become.
“How do I get here and what now? Priority on health.”
To get healthier, I know what to do next. I'm changing my life style to quit smoking, back to the gym and eat clean and healthy. It is so fucking hard, I cry and scream all the way. I got help the last time I lost almost 40 lbs, my family was still living with me under the same roof. Now I'm by myself with Ewok (my 12 yo puppy). Can I do that again?
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